


Comatose State: Mike Richards Edition

by ruthie_kun



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, No Smut, comatose Mike Richards, just go with it here because I have no clue what to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruthie_kun/pseuds/ruthie_kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike Richards is injured during a game vs Montreal and is in a coma. He ends up having quite frankly one of the weirdest dreams that he's ever had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comatose State: Mike Richards Edition

**Author's Note:**

> So I ended up writing a crack fanfiction involving Carts and Rick and MikeRichardsOfficial over on Tumblr wanted me to post this, so I did. It's completely random and very OOC, so please be warned. I had one of my friends on Skype beta this for which I'm grateful for. Please don’t take this too seriously, and for the love of god please don’t hate me for this as this is technically my first hockey fanfiction that I’ve finished.

 It all started when our uber geek, Mike Richards, woke up in his house, hungover. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly pleased, Mike deflowered a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like a schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved Stanley Cup ring was missing!  Immediately he called his undeclared soulmate, Jeff Carter. Mike had known Jeff for 12 years, the majority of which were striking ones.  Jeff Carter was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... annoying. Mike called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

 

  Jeff picked up to his very mad best friend slash undeclared soulmate. Jeff calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys yawn before mating, yet albino cats usually wildly grimace after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Mike.  Why was Jeff Carter trying to distract Richie?  Because he had snuck out from Mike Richards's house with the Stanley Cup ring only eight days prior. Why would he steal his ring? Because Jeff had managed to lose his own Stanley Cup ring and it was a enchanting little Stanley Cup ring... how could he resist?

 

  It didn't take long before Mike got back to the subject at hand: his Stanley Cup ring. Jeff yawned. Reluctantly, Jeff invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Stanley Cup ring. Mike grabbed Arnold and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Jeff realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Stanley Cup ring and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if Richie took the magic flying carpet, he had take at least six minutes before Mike Richards would get there.  But if he took the black Range Rover?  Then Carts would be exceedingly screwed.

 

  Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Jeff was interrupted by five dimwitted dogs that were lured by his Stanley Cup ring. Jeff Carter yawned; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling puzzled, he aggressively reached for his bag of dog treats and aimlessly threw them at the dogs. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the beach, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the black Range Rover rolling up.  It was Richie.

 

“Fuck!” Jeff said, rushing to get up to hide Richie’s ring.

 

As Mike pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at 7-11 to pick up a 12-pack of ripened bananas, so he knew he was running late.  With a quick leap, Mike Richards was out of the black Range Rover and went charismatically jaunting toward Jeff’s front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Jeff was panicking.  Not thinking, he tossed the Stanley Cup ring into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind his refrigerator. Jeff Carter was frustrated but at least the Stanley Cup ring was concealed.  The doorbell rang.

 

  “Come in,”  Jeff exotically purred. With a apt push, Mike Richards opened the door.  “Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering genocidal maniac in a amphibious vehicle,” he lied.  

 

“It's fine, Richie”, Jeff assured him.

 

Mike Richards took a seat about two feet away from where Jeff Carter had hidden the Stanley Cup ring. Jeff cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness from his undeclared soulmate.  

 

“Uhh, can I get you anything?” he blurted. But Mike was distracted. Giggling like schoolgirl, Jeff noticed a selfish look on Mike Richards's face. Mike Richards slowly opened his mouth to speak.

 

  “...What's that smell?”

 

  Jeff felt a stabbing pain in his love handle when Richie asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Stanley Cup ring on the stove that was left on. “Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!”  A lie.  A funny-smelling look started to form on Mike’s face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place.

 

“Th-th-those are just my grandma's live hand grenades from when she used to have pet albino cats.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier”.

 

Richie nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Jeff could react, Mike deftly lunged toward the box and opened it. Mike’s ring was plainly in view.

 

  Mike stared at Jeff for what felt like eleven days. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Jeff groped himself explosively in Mike's direction, clearly desperate. Mike grabbed the ring and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Jeff let out a enticing chuckle.

 

“If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Mike,” he rebuked. “Carts, what the FUCK are you talking about?!” Mike asked, confused. “Why did you even steal my ring!?”

 

Jeff didn’t say anything; instead he just laughed. Jeff always had been a little pestering, so Mike knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Jeff did something crazy, like... start chucking potatoes at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his Stanley Cup ring tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

 

  Jeff looked on, blankly. “What the hell?  That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know” Richie didn’t say anything. Suddenly, Jeff felt a tinge of concern for Mike. “Oh.  You ..okay, Richie?' Still silence. Jeff walked over to the window and looked down. Mike was gone.

 

Just yonder, Mike was struggling to make his way through the fantastic pumpkin patch behind Jeff’s place. Mike Richards had severely hurt his head and legs  during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. As he lied on one of the pumpkins, he wondered to himself.  ‘Why did Carts steal my ring when he has two of his own?! And why does Carts have a fucking pumpkin patch?! It’s April and we live in LA!  God I am so confused right now.’  Mike decided to take a nap on the pumpkin.

 

When he woke up again, he was in a hospital bed. ‘How’d I get here?’ Mike thought to himself. “Hey Richie, you’re finally awake!” Mike heard. He turned his head and saw Jeff.

 

“W-What happened, Carts? How’d I get into the hospital?” Mike asked.

 

“Richie, you’ve been in a coma the past three weeks. You got checked really bad by one of Montreal’s defencemen and you had to be carried off the ice on a stretcher.” Jeff said. Mike widened his eyes.  “Mike, what’s wrong?”

 

“I.. I had the strangest dream while I was in the coma, Carts. You had stolen one of my cup rings and I jumped out of a window and then I had apparently deflowered an avocado. Also, you had a pumpkin patch in your backyard and I had a magic carpet. Man this dream was freaking weird, Jeff, you have no idea.” Mike explained, trying not to freak out. Jeff started to laugh.

“It’s not funny asshole, I’m freaked out right now!” Mike snapped.

 

“I know it’s not funny, Richie. Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of weird dreams.” Jeff said, grinning.

 

“You clearly do think this is funny, Jeff. But for the love of hockey, DO not tell Dewy about this. I don’t need to be chirped.”

 

“I know Mike. I wouldn’t do that to you babe. I’m going to go get a doctor now and let him know you’re awake, alright?” Jeff said, kissing him on the lips softly.

 

“Alright.” he said, kissing him back softly. “Love you Carts.”

 

“Love you too, Rick.” Jeff said, leaving the room to get a doctor. Mike sighed and relaxed back into his hospital bed hoping that when he left the hospital, he could put the dream behind him and focus back on playing for the Kings.

 

 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This was my first hockey fanfiction and I'm proud that I've actually finished this one as I still have a couple of them that aren't done and I'm not comfortable publishing them. Hopefully you enjoyed.


End file.
